our funny jokes 'n funny stuff page by mental jokes 'n other funny mental stuff pages - have fun!
_______________________________
I used to be schizophrenic, but we're better now.
"You say
PSYCHO like it's a BAD thing!"
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill herself,
is it considered a hostage situation?
_______________________________
IMPORTANT Announcement!!!!
After
you read our funny jokes and funny mental jokes page here,
PLEASE read the short
bit at the very bottom of the page, (don't skip it now, it's important!)
(be warned, it's pretty bad stuff!)
_______________________________
now,
on to the
very funny jokes
we've got just for
you!
thank you for your attention
and have fun! There
are plenty there to read,
go get em!
_______________________________
_______________________________
don't
you just hate it when you get to a joke place
and have to click just one
stupid joke title and
then go to
a whole new page to read just one
damn joke and
then
have to go back to read
another title
and then find a new
stupid damn joke to read
and click again to
go to that one
stupid joke on
a whole new page and then
do it all over again!
- dang!
We hate
that!
One a a
friggin time? It's
like you go and read
just one joke
- it's
like "no
more for you sucker, you
have to click many many of our pages to have fun,
dumb stupid people!
and then you have to
wait for each stupid
joke to
come up while that stupid
joke page with
just one damn joke on
it loads! Gad!
a new page - and if it
is a really stupid
joke, you've
just wasted
all that friggin time you
could have been reading a good n
funny
joke!
What's up with that?
This is the damn
21st century, not the
friggin Flintstone's
days! (how
rude is that anyway?) way
rude!
Then, these
jokes sites, (well, a lot of them), have a
stupid
pop-up window
for every
single one of
the stupid joke page's jokes!
suck!
GRRR!
huh? we hate that stuff -- totally! So
our jokes
are all on
one page!
you can just
read on 'n 'n on -
one
joke after the next -
no annoying page turning
piss-ant waiting
for each joke
and no wasted time on
crap jokes (even
though all of our jokes would be worth waiting
for if
you had to wait for
them - but you don't -- but
yeah, hell,
we hate that,
what a rip!)
_______________________________
_______________________________
| Leave One Yet? Below are just a few of the many funny jokes we have read in our "leave a joke" section (to your right) I haven't checked them lately, but last time I checked the jokes, there were way too many really funny jokes to fit on this page and way too many to pick the most funny (way too tough) to give as examples below! Wow, that's a lot! so by now there must be a lot more humorous jokes from the masses ... what a treat! By the way - - Did YOU Leave one Yet?
____________
Quickies /
How do crazy people go through the forest?
| HEY,
all you funny people! (hey! after reading some of these new entries in here, I just have to say that some of you nuts are really very funny! thanks for sharing folk, keep up the great work!)
Therapy is expensive, popping bubble wrap is cheap
more quickies!
If ignorance is bliss,
Hypochondria is the only illness that I don't have.
I hear voices in my head and they don't like you A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
____________ |
By
far our most popular sponsor to date! There are so many wild and crazy goodies
there, you'll find something for everyone, (and yourself too)... just window
shopping is fun! ____________ I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!
Madness takes its toll.
Therapy is expensive, popping bubble wrap is cheap! I Do Whatever My Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
Fun Time Break! Brainiversity is a fun, fast paced game and "brain trainer" in one! Play now - you'll love it AND you'll boost your brain power at the same time! |
|
ACTUAL funny |
| Why
is the word "dictionary" |
| Manic's Prayer Lord, help me to relax about insignificant details, beginning tomorrow at 7:41:23 a.m. EST. God, help me to consider people's feelings, even if most of them ARE hypersensitive. God, help me to take responsibility for my own actions, even though they are usually NOT my fault. God, help me not to try to RUN everything, but if You need some help, please feel free to ASK ME! Lord, help me to be more laid back, and help me to do it EXACTLY RIGHT. God, help me to take things more seriously, especially laughter, parties,& dancing. God, give me patience, and I mean NOW! Lord, help me not be a perfectionist .(Did I write that correctly?) God, help me to finish everything that I sta. . . Amen
|
My Fear:
Life may have no meaning...
Or even worse,
it may have a meaning
for which I disapprove
Why is the alphabet in that order?
Is it because of that song?
Why is a boxing ring square?
Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged
SCHIZOPHRENIA
- Do You Hear What I Hear?
MULTIPLE PERSONALITY
- We Three Queens Disoriented Are.
DEMENTIA
- I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas.
NARCISSISTIC
- Hark The Herald Angels Sing (About Me)
MANIA
- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town ...or Deck the Halls and Spare No Expense!
PARANOIA
- Santa Claus is Coming
To Get Me.
PERSONALITY DISORDER- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, then MAYBE I'll tell you why.
OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE
- Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell...
PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE
- On the First Day of Christmas
My True Love Gave to Me
(and then took it all away).
Bipolar
Cake Recipe
1 Pre-Made Angel Food Cake
(hide the box in the neighbor's trash can, never let them know it ISN'T homemade)
1 Pres-Made Jar or Container of
Devil's Food Frosting
Spread your angel food cake with the devil's food frosting and serve it on a pretty plate ...and call it homemade!
More Medical Terms...
Genotype -
The kind of girl Gino likes
G.I. Series -
A soldier ball game
Sterile solution -
Not using the elevator
during a fire
Surgery -
A reason to get an uninterruptible power supply
Tablet -
A small table
Terminal Illness -
Getting sick at the airport
Tumor -
More than one
Ultrasound -
A loud noise
Urine -
Opposite of you're out
Varicose -
Nearby
Vein -
Conceited
Weak -
Seven days
Recovery Room -
A place to do upholstery
Rectum -
Damn near killed 'em
Red blood count -
Dracula
Rheumatic -
Amorous
Saline -
Where you go on your boyfriend's boat
Scar -
Rolled tobacco leaf
Secretion -
Hiding something
Seizure -
Roman Emperor
Dilate -
To live a long time
Enema -
Not a friend
Enteritis -
A penchant for burglary
ER -
The things on your head that you hear with
Pharmacist -
Person who makes a living dealing in agriculture
REAL
statistics
Sixty percent of Americans who call in sick at work apparently aren’t sick at all.
Many take it off as a personal "mental health" day.
An
interesting little known fact about a crazy man's castle and Disneyland!
In Germany, the fairy tale-like castle of Neuschwanstein is one of the most
famous castles in all the world. Each year, more than a million tourists visit the
castle. It was built by King Ludwig II, believed to have been mentally ill, more
than a century ago. His magnificent Neuschwanstein Castle is likely Germany's
most famous sight. From a distance, the castle, sitting on a rocky peak of the
Alps in Bavaria, is like a storybook picture.
Walt Disney got many of his ideas for Sleeping Beauty's castle at Disneyland from Neuschwanstein Castle. Its full
name, Schloss Neuschwanstein, translates to "Castle of New Swan Stone."
Very funny slogans here, very funny!
More bumper stickers!
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
Earth is the insane asylum for the Universe
Jesus Love You... everyone else thinks you're as ass
I just drive this way to piss you off
Out of my mind, back in five minutes.
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
Guns don't kill people, postal workers do.
I said "no" to drugs, but they just wouldn't listen
Of course I'm in shape. Isn't Round a shape?
____________
More Quickies!
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot."
I don't suffer from stress.
I'm a carrier.
I don't have an attitude problem. You have a
perception problem.
Why is it that famous people are always born on holidays?
When people run around
and around in circles we
say they are crazy
But when planets do it
we say they are orbiting
Homeless people
may have
no homes,
or no food, but
they always
seem to have cigarettes.
Aim low
.. reach you
goals avoid disappointment.
When life gives
me lemons,
I make a whiskey
sour & go to bed.
Why is it you must wait until night to call it a day?
a
couple of our site pages to check out if you want and all...
Back to Mental Jokes
Manic's Dance
play our "inspiration concentration" memory game, it's fast,
free & very fun!!! why not?
love spells! Simple, Free, Fun Love Spells!
love horoscope, a free tarot card reading
bad
boys
little
sin city online
Free Games for Shockwave Lovers... by the Dude!
Fun Things to do at a
Therapist's Office
1.Ask to borrow a comb, comb your tongue.
2.Take random objects in his office and glue them to the floor.
3.Refuse to cooperate unless he trades his pants.
4.Bring pots and pans. Bang them together when he asks a question you don't like.
5.After everything he says, say, "And how does that make you feel?"
6.Point at random things and say, "Where did you get that?"
7.Complain that his chair looks more comfortable.
8.Repeat over and over, "I'm not hanging out with a bad influence, I AM a bad influence!"
9.Sit underneath your chair.
10.Stand on your head.
11.Kill spiders on the wall with your fist. Eat what sticks to your hand and leave the rest sticking to the wall. Draw a circle
around it to make sure everyone sees it.
12.Never stop smiling.
13.Scream every word.
14.Repeatedly tell him to look at the ceiling. When he finally does, repeatedly tell him to look at the chair. When he finally
does, repeatedly tell him to look at the desk, etc...
15.Put your shoes on the wrong feet.
16.Try to seduce him with chocolate donuts.
17.Try to talk him into sitting on the floor.
18.Tell him Matlock is the key to all your problems.
19.Eat his books.
20.Talk to his leg.
21.Don't face him when he talks to you.
22.Talk really slowly.
23.Try to eat your hand.
24.
If he offers you coffee, ask him to spill it on your lap.
25.Make sure you make butt-prints in his couch.
26.Pretend you hear music.
27.Tell him you think his secretary is really a man.
28.Pretend to drink.
29.Offer him an imaginary cookie.
Medical Terms Cont...
Herpes -
What women do in the Ladies Room
High Colonic -
Jewish Religious holiday
Hippocampus -
A medical school where even a hippo can pass
Hormones -
What a prostitute does when she doesn't get paid
ICU -
Peek-a-boo
Impotent -
Distinguished, well-known
Inpatient -
Tired of waiting
Intern -
One after another
Intestine -
Currently taking an exam
Labor Pain -
Getting hurt at work
Mammogram -
A telegram to your Mama.
Medical Staff -
A doctor's cane
Minor Operation -
Coal digging
Morbid -
A higher offer
Nitrates -
Cheaper than day rates
Node -
Was aware of
Organ transplant -
What you do to your
piano when you move
Organic -
Organ repairman
Outpatient -
A person who fainted
Paralyze -
Two far-fetched stories
Pathological -
A reasonable way to go
Pap Smear -
A fatherhood test
Were you born?
Enter your birthday
and you could win $5
Million Bucks!
I haven't spoken to my wife
for 18 months - I
don't like to interrupt her
a few links we've got
new Electric shock (ect)
free online experience
famous faces and names
w/ manic depression
crocodile fun interactive
fun & free mp3 goodies page! new!
the last web site
on the internet
What do you think....
Applying computer technology is simply finding the right wrench to pound in
the correct screw.
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will
choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base -Dave Barry
Psychiatrist to his nurse:
"Just say we're very busy. Don't keep saying 'It's a madhouse.'"
~~~
Brain Transplant
The man asked, "What is the difference between a male brain and a female brain?"
The doctor replied, "The difference is…… the female brain is used."
The funniest bumper stickers (and other stickers) you'll find online! Just browsing around is hysterical, very funny stuff!
T-Shirt
Hell's
Top
Sellers
of the this Week:
Beware: these
t-shirts are the 'wild - type adults only type tee-shirts, funny but
many are a bit crude!
the
'G' rated Examples, (sorry,
this site is not going to list the 'real deals' from this site, it's
up to you if you want to venture into a place that is more 'out there'
in ideas and lingo):
I'm what Willis was talkin bout
Asthma is Sexy
I'm not Handicapped, I'm just Lazy.
T-Shirt
Hell
Idiot Sighting:
Some Boeing
employees on the
airfield decided
to steal a life raft
from one of the 747s. They were successful
in getting it
out of the plane and home. When they took it for a float on
the river, they were surprised by a coast guard helicopter
coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing
in on the emergency locator that is activated when the raft is
inflated. Needless to say, they are no longer employed there
duh duh
duh duh
duh duh!
Talking E Cards! Free!
unreal, twisted, bizarre, crazy stuff (but you'll find something for everyone anyway!)
_______________________________
please help us by "getting them"!
a
long
long ago, like 9 1/2 whole years in the past ago,
one could find just a handful of joke or humor sites online, really, maybe five
or so! In that that long time ago, there was
just one site for mental jokes, crazy funny stuff or even,
medical jokes, and that one site long ago was this site here, wow,
mental jokes!
We were the very first - the original, the
one before all the copy cat sites that used the idea, (and many times the content
too!) and took it to their host pages and called it their very own...
Imagine that!
and even if they have cooler looking graphics or a more professional site page that doesn't brag in big letters, they are still copy cat wanna-be mental idiots who have no creativity of their very own and have to rely on cheating, stealing and building on what they steal! while they are stealing, they are also fooling you into thinking it is there own stuff, they are LYING to YOU!
These wanna-be originals are late comers, prefabs, fakes and they are all merely little imps who think they are sly people. They are simpletons who I view as egos who search the web foaming where their mouths should be & then trying with their new found power to force their clueless shrunken heads into actually believing the stuff and the idea is theirs! They got some money to spend and make it all professional looking by hiring some hotshot page site maker person, and laugh at the thought that mental jokes, the original, may soon look like a copy of a major big business' site!!! Some even has the balls to have a 'no right click' feature on their page as if someone will come and steal what they have already stolen! Bizarre little fu*ks!
So, could you do us a REALLY big favor today?
Stand up for originality, let them know that you do not appreciate being fooled by them and that they are jerks with some nerve to even try to fool any of you into thinking they were the 'real deal' of anything other than their own inflated jerk off ego-centric selves.
Make it a point to search for 'mental jokes' or any similar term and find them, you will see the little blood suckers pop up and it will turn your stomach! Let them know by email or hotlink to their graphics, anything to say "hey, do your own shyt, shyt!"
go tell them for us that they you know they are cheating liars who copy cat mental funny ideas and call them their own! (any phrasing you pick is good, just make it your own & original, but not your best wording because they will copy that too!)
then come back and tell Us here what they said! (if they have the guts to return your mail that is!) Any cool responses will be put in a separate page and be published online for all to see... we can together stop this crime, end their criminal rampages and make the web more honest and less deceptive ... thank you, mj's (the original)
_ ___ __ __ __ ___ __ __ __ ___ ___ __ __ __