wav files here.... (the rest below)
you're an idiot! wav file
xo - cute/pesky little desktop pal! exe program
email this prank & it will turn the victim's entire desktop upside down! exe program
funny prank movie! mpeg file
prank call - the psychic mp3 file
cool humor song to put on your phone's answering machine! wav file
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Your so boring, if you threw a boomerang, it wouldn't come back to you.
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard
Lead me not into temptation...I can find the way myself
There are two types of pedestrians...the quick and the dead
A closed mouth gathers no feet
The more people I meet, the more I like my cat.
Don't blame me. I'm only doing what my Rice Crispies told me to do.
If a man is talking in the woods, and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still
wrong?
Fight crime, shoot back!
If only men could be as satisfying as chocolate
time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like bananas
the best things in life are free plus tax
If Clinton's answer is yes, than it must have been a realy stupid question.
Skydivers: Good to the last drop
Why do they let semi-drivers drive big trucks?
Why do they call apartments "apartments" when they are built together?
The grass is always greener on TV
Smile and the world audits your taxes.
If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?
According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.
Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
How can I miss you if you won't go away?
Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
Smile and the world audits your taxes.
If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?
According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.
Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
How can I miss you if you won't go away?
Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that somewhere, someone may be happy.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
i souport publik edekashun.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?
Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
He who hesitates is probably right.
Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.
The colder the x-ray table, the more of your body that is required on it.
The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.
The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.
Two wrongs are only the beginning.
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
What's the number for 911?
My REALITY CHECK Bounced.
My school colors were clear.
I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter.
I'm taking Lamaze classes. I'm not having a baby, I'm just having trouble breathing.
My girlfriend's weird. One day she asked me, "If you could know how and when you
were going to die, would you want to know?" I said, "No." She said, "Okay, forget
it."
I went for a walk last night, and she asked me "How long are you going to be
gone?" I said, "The whole time."
My buddy got busted for counterfeiting. He was making pennies. They caught him
because he was putting the heads and tails on the wrong sides. He's in a minimum
security prison now; he's on a whiffle-ball and chain.
I like this new idea of voodoo acupuncture. You don't have to go anywhere, you
just walk down the street, and all of a sudden, "Ah!"
Hermits have no peer pressure.
Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories...
There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
The other day I saw a rabbit in the forest in front of a candle making pictures of
humans on a tree.
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't live there?
The other day, I went to a tourist information booth and asked "Tell me about some
of the people who were here last year."
What a nice night for an evening.
When I was in high school, I got in trouble with my girlfriend's Dad. He said, "I want
my daughter back by 8:15." I said, "The middle of August? Cool!"
Did Washington just flash a quarter for his ID?
I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious.
I live on a one-way dead-end street.
Imagine if birds were tickled by feathers...
I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing
"Happy Birthday".
I accidentally installed the deer whistles on my car backwards. Now everywhere I
go, I'm chased by a herd of deer.
wow!
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