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Get By

by Athena            

Just a Note:    Each year, thousands of people of our population suffer the extreme effects of manic depression, also called bipolar disorder. About 2% of the manic-depressive commit suicide, many more by far attempt suicide and many pass away by "accidental" causes. Many famous people that you just may know of have and do suffer from this chemical imbalance manic depression … We've had a man on the moon, Broadway stars, famous poets and great inventors who have suffered or suffer from this illness and who fought to get where they wanted, where they dreamed of going… We hope this page will help you …pass it along and help us fight stigma - one click at a time… manic's dance

the curtain falls

but only on the act
for the play is never done
As one question only leads to another
for every answer creates a question
so is life
each turn a trial each trial holding a lesson
and then there is the teacher
patient, understanding and arms open
comforting in blessed assurance
of another day and a another wonderful trial
and the knowledge that I will survive
and grow
Your words are beautiful
and do hold truth
but there is always a light
a the end of the tunnel
at some point in the trip.
looking at the rain I see the sun
at first I saw the gray but then
I saw the buds through time
I knew that life was mine and I held fast
as I watched it stood still,
time that is and wouldn't you know
through the clouds
peace settled upon the land
and in so doing upon my heart,
peace at last
I need not fight

Karen, manic depressive...

"Demons"

Demons kick their way into my head, spinning and laughing. Senses are dead. I cringe at their timing. They giggle and pinch me, their evil nails digging into my flesh. I twist away, retching, coughing up vomit colored blood, dying.
Hanging up here on this hook
is no easy task, so here I swing, being tortured, swallowed up by the great escape. I see no other background besides the green steel wall, leering above the piles of destruction left by my tormentors...

                     -Nick Traina

(Nick lost his fight to manic depression... although, he did try very hard to win)

How can this be? How can I survive,
when all I want to do is die.

I need you but can’t tell you I’m down. 
so afraid of loosing you.
Too afraid to live,
to love, to let anyone in.

Can’t see my beginning, can’t see
my ending.
Feel like I am blind,
walking in a black never ending
tunnel of despair.

Want to end it all,
but too tired and numb to care.
I feel you somewhere at the end
of the long tunnel, but don’t know
how to get there.

Frozen in space and time,
I cry out for help and understanding.
But no one answers,
no one can hear me.

For my lips do not move.
No sound comes from my mouth.
For all I can do is call out from
the dark frozen tunnels of my mind.

My heart frozen in fear,
my soul frozen in despair.

Oh PLEASE, PLEASE

look into my eyes, see me there.
Help me, Hold me, Love me.

I just wanted to share with everyone a poem I wrote during a black mood. Hope you find some inspiration here...or some common ground. Please feel free to email me at madhatter2@foxinternet.net   I hope you enjoy it, and hope that it helps you as much as it has me...


Thanks Elizabeth

Julia
manic depressive

The fear is so terrifying 
Not knowing what to expect 
From one day to the next 
Who am I going to be now. 

Am I going to be manic 
So high, so carefree 
Running around trying to conquer the world 
No one can touch me 

Am I going to be depressed 
So low, so sad 
A total recluse from the world outside 
Will I feel like I'm going mad 

To not know what to expect 
whether euphoria, sadness, panic, fear 
To live your life this way 
Day by day, year by year

      - tonevans

Hold me as a child 
Help keep me warm 
Wrap me in a blanket 
Wish away the storm 

Hold me as a child 
Wipe away my tears 
I've been a child now 
For far too many years 

Hold me as a child 
Help me smile til tomorrow 
Kiss away my fears 
Have some faith that I can borrow

- steves    

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   I look out the window
and the world reflects back at me
in a hundred shades of gray.
Struggling to see through
the gossamer web that hangs
and a barrier- insubstantial
and yet impenetrable
I watch the world turn to fog
before my eyes.
The grays blend until they are all one
and the curtain goes down.

          Mamaduck

petey w/ son pete.

MY NARCOTIC
           jily

Dark, cold, black, tranquil….

It calls to me like an old friend.

The darkness should frighten me…

Run, flee, far away from the evil one.

My legs are filled with lead.

I remain, knowing what is ahead.

Too weak to fight,

Relinquishment.

Finally, it comes.

Tender arms engulfing me,

Floating, no pain.

No light.

No sound.

Nothingness.

Peace…….at last.

A day?  A week?

How long this time?

When will I be set free?

Unrestrained to feel,

To pursue the happiness…..

Just beyond my reach.

The pain is too great,

The attraction too strong.

Get By

  by Athena

A shred of sanity seeps into the darkness

Deeper

And

Deeper

Clouded by tremours of deception and despair

The shadow grows

Loaming over the heart

A light crawls through on it's hands and knees

as the Gods speak...

Athena's words repair all the wayword wrongs and sorrowed songs

Brighter and brighter the radiance

Illuminates

There's no escape now

A smile appears on tear-caked lips

Apollo rises

and vanquishes the demons

All is well again and the time to contemplate

Has begun...

Looking at the rain I see the sun
at first I saw the gray but then
I saw the buds through time
I knew that life was mine and I held fast
as I watched it stood still,
time that is
and wouldn't you know through
the clouds
peace settled upon the land
and in so doing upon my heart,
peace at last I need not fight

Bkimmel

Leonardo da Vinci Studio
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with the "solution" to it all

.And there's a little orange pill 
Giving out a sirens call 
But there's another siren singing 
With a voice so loud and free 
Singing of the great temptation 
That is living as just me 

There's a bottle in my hand 
Which will drive the dark away 
And there's a little orange pill 
Promising clarity of day 
But the cost is much to high 
For when it drives away the night 
It also takes along with it The bright creative light 

There's a bottle in my hand 
But I slowly set it down 
And it's true perhaps tomorrow
I'll be coming back around 
But for today I want the light back 
And it's mine alone to claim 

So I've chosen the offensive 
In this most important game. 

In Peace, Mamaduck God Is Love Christian

Forum www.delphi.com.mamaduck

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Rain streaked the windshield as she tried to make out the highway signs. “Twenty years! I am old!” she thought to herself as she drove. “How will they remember me? Will they remember me as I was, and will they be willing to still see the real me once they know?”

Ruth sighed. Life is hard these days. But it wasn’t always so. Ruth was the life of the party in college. Everyone wanted her at their parties because she was so much fun to be around. “But that was a long time ago,” Ruth blurted out. Several years ago, after periods of wild euphoria and devastatingly low depressions, Ruth was given her sentence: she had manic depression, or bipolar disorder.

The rain was coming down harder now. Ruth needed to pull the car over; she couldn’t see the road anymore.

Ruth hated the rain. When it rained, she could feel her mood going down, down, down…. She hated how out of control she felt. She could not make herself be happy for this day — not for any day. Her college buddies didn’t know she had bipolar disorder. Would it make a difference in their friendships? Will they still like her, even though she wasn’t always the wild, manic person they remembered her to be? Ruth stared blankly out the window. “Of course, they’ll like you — they’re your friends, right?” she said aloud to convince herself of the truth of those words.

The rain was beginning to let up. Ruth pulled back onto the highway and began to see some familiar signs and landmarks. The campus house. The student union. The “dreaded” cafeteria with the horrid food! The field house and the football field. She was beginning to feel as though she had returned home. Her mood lifted.

As the sun peeked out from behind the clouds, Ruth found a parking space and pulled in. She gathered her things and smiled to herself. “I can handle this!” she thought to herself.

As she saw a familiar face here and there puddle together as friends hugged and names were called out joyously, she heard one person after another call out, “Ruth! Ruth! Over here!” The looks on their faces reassured her that no matter what she felt she had to tell them, it didn’t matter. As she ran to meet them, she realized that she was not her mental illness. It did not define her. She smiled and hugged her friends warmly.

Hi, I'm LauraByWater.  This story is untitled.  I can't think of one.  If you have any suggestions, let me know.

I have a website at http://embark.to/oasis  

bipolar

Today I Will Remember 
Read/Post Quickie Affirmations & Thoughts. 
Sharing with each other makes those who,
at the moment, need ... receive... And those who,
at this moment who have a victory, small or
large to share, can give... Affirmations, quotes,
thoughts ... all are for everyone and everyone
can grow from them... 

When Darkness Comes to Lie

I wear the mask of normal

As I try hard not to skip

I run faster and jump higher

Each time this feeling hits

Inside my head I shout out loud

Or more a scream than that

I AM THE KING, ABOVE ALL THING'S

NO ONE CAN ARGUE THAT

Heart pounding as mind races

Brilliance fills to brim

And nothing known can stop me

As I bounce from whim to whim.

I am the darkest corner

In the black hole of your mind

I'll wait till you're not looking

And get you every time

I am the things that scare you

Your worst nightmares

your best fears

I'll break you down and shake you down

And suck dry all your tears

I' tell you that you're worthless

I'll lead you to believe

That there's nothing left to live for

Much better that you leave

And later when you're skipping,

and your rainbow has come home

I'll bide my time

Inside your mind and strike until you're gone.

Mindless destination just

Feels like the best is past

As I stand in isolation

As it happens just that fast

And all the pain won't ground me

When I feel the light inside

Yet, no reason will confound me

When the darkness comes to lie


I just wanted to share with everyone a poem I wrote during a black mood. 
Hope you find some inspiration here...or some common ground. 
I hope you enjoy it, and hope that it helps you as much as it has me...

Thanks Elizabeth
madhatter2 

Headache

The fear is so terrifying 
Not knowing what to expect 
From one day to the next 
Who am I going to be now. 

Am I going to be manic 
So high, so carefree 
Running around trying to conquer the world 
No one can touch me 

Am I going to be depressed 
So low, so sad 
A total recluse from the world outside 
Will I feel like I'm going mad 

To not know what to expect 
whether euphoria, sadness, panic, fear 
To live your life this way 
Day by day, year by year
      - tonevans

Diane - Manic Depressive.

Growing Up

   by Athena

Dizzy

 Speeding

    rapid pounding crushing inner walls

            everything spins and spins

                          and spins and spins

            To try and grapple

                to understand the world

                   would be like strangling a ghost

            Choking

          Draining

       Emotions run dry

     Tired

        so tired

            Life is is not to die

      But just a break

          a simple get away

               just until it seems

            that everything

                 will be

                 okay 

On left, Aubrey, (brey)  Lisapt's Daughter.  (See:
"My Mother Is Manic Depressive")

                                    Lil Storm
                              - bipolar