did you know?

Starfish don't
have brains!

Cartoon T-Shirts

Novelty T-Shirts

Humor T-Shirts

Cat Humor!

Who owns your
cat... You?
(or does
your cat own you!)

1. Do you select your friends based on how well your cats like them?

2. Does your desire to collect cats intensify during times of stress?

3. Do you buy more than 50 pounds of cat litter a month?

4. Do you scoop out the litter box after each use? Do you wait at the box with the scoop in your hand?

5. Do you think it's cute when your cat swings on the drapes or licks the butter?

6. Do you admit to non-cat owners how many cats you really have?

7. Do you sleep in the same position all night because it annoys your cats when you move?

8. Do you kiss your cat on the lips?

9. Do you feed your cat tidbits from the table with your spoon?

10. Does your cat sit at the table (or ON the table) when you eat?

11. Does your cat sleep on your head? Do you like it?

12. Do you have more than four opened but rejected cans of cat food in the refrigerator?

13. Do you watch bad TV because the cat is sleeping on the remote?

14. Did you buy a video tape of fish swimming in an aquarium to entertain your cat?

15. Will you stand at the open door indefinitely in the freezing rain while your cat sniffs the door, deciding whether to go out or come in?

16. Would you rather spend a night at home with your cat than go out on a bad date?

17. Do you give your cat presents and a stocking at Christmas? Do you spend more for your cat than you do for your spouse?

18. Do the Christmas cards you send out feature your cat sitting on Santa's lap? Does your cat sign the card?

19. Do you put off making the bed until the cat gets up?

20. Does your cat eat out of cut crystal stemware because you both watched the same commercial on television?

21. Do you microwave your cat's food? Prepare it from scratch?

22. Do you climb out of bed over the headboard or foot board, so you won't disturb the sleeping cat?

23. When you are preparing to leave for the day, do you seek out each cat and inform them of your anticipated return time?

24. Do you sleep with no pillow under your head, because the cat wants to sleep on it?

25. Do you stand at the computer because the cat is sleeping on the chair?

26. Do you you make sure there's plenty of kitty litter in the house, even though you may run out of toilet paper?

27. At the store, do you pick out the cat food before you pick out anything for yourself?

28. Do you go to sleep sitting up in bed because you were reading and the cat is curled up on your lap asleep?

29. Does it always take you longer than expected to read a magazine, because the cat keeps curling up on it while you're reading?

30. Do you frequently leave your dresser drawer open when you leave for the day, because the cat jumped into one of them and is asleep in one of the drawers?

31. Is the only comb you can find in the bathroom a flea comb?

32. Do you cook a special turkey for your cat on holidays?

33. Does your cat "insist" on a fancy Sunday breakfast consisting of an omelet made from eggs, milk, and salmon, halibut, or trout?

34. Do you have pictures of your cat in your wallet? Do you bring them out when your friends share pictures of their children? (Pollsters claim that 40 percent of cat owners carry their pet's pictures in their wallets, by the way)

35. When people call to talk to you on the phone, do you insist that they say a few words to your cat as well?

36. Do you accept dates only with those who have a cat? If so, do you eventually double-date with the cats to see how they get along?

37. When someone new comes to your house, do you introduce your cat, by name, to them?

38. Do you keep old, empty pizza boxes on the counter instead of throwing them away, because the cat likes to sleep in it?

did you know?
A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds

what are some of the different animal packs called? Glad you asked!

A group of frogs is called an army.
 A group of rhinos is called a crash
. A group of kangaroos is called a mob. 
A group of whales is called a pod. 
A group of geese is called a gaggle.
 A group of ravens is called a murder.
 A group of officers is called a mess.
 A group of larks is called an exaltation.
 A group of owls is called a parliament.

Quick Pet Tip!

Keep your pet cool. Heat stroke is a dangerous condition where ordinary
body temperature of 101.5 degrees Fahrenheit in cats and 102.0
degrees Fahrenheit in dogs is exceptionally elevated, sometimes as
high as 109.5 degrees Fahrenheit. Symptoms consist of vomiting,
increased breathing, unresponsiveness and collapse. Heat stroke
can be averted by providing your pets with shade and fresh water. If
you believe pet is suffering from heat stroke, spray
him with cool water and see a veterinarian immediately. Do NOT
use very cold
or iced water. 

Chicken Humor?

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD, PEANUTS STYLE!

CHARLIE BROWN: Good Grief! The chicken crossed the road to call me a Blockhead!

LUCY: The chicken crossing the road is merely a symptom of society's wishy-washiness. That will be 5 cents please.

PEPPERMINT PATTY: You see, Chuck, me and Marci were wondering if you'd like to come watch the chicken cross the road over at our house.

MARCI: We were, Sir?

LINUS: The chicken crossed the road in preparation for the coming of the Great Chicken who brings broth and noodles to children everywhere.

FRANKLIN: Sure, ask the black kid a question now! 40 years of no speaking roles, and now all I get is this chicken question!

SCHRODER: It was the great perambulance and grace of the aforementioned fowl that Beethoven sought to capture in this piece.

SALLY: Big Brother, are you sure chickens are allowed to cross the road without the crossing guard?

PIG PEN: To get to the filthy chicken coop.

SNOOPY: It was SUPPER TIME! SUPPER TIME! SUPPER TIME! SUPPER TIME! SUPPER TIME! SUPPER TIME!

WOODSTOCK: |||||||||

SPIKE: He was going to visit a brother who looks just like him (except for a mustache and hat) and hangs out in the desert in Needles, California. This having no connection or relevance to the other chickens crossing the road.

http://notinmybackyard.com  copyright © 20088 Dale Taylor
see "not in my backyard" funny animal daily cartoons!

The Top 10 Signs Your Golden Retriever is
Watching Too Much TV 

Best Friends Magazine, 3/99

Did You Know...

Indoor cats live twice as long as their outdoor counterparts.

did you know?
Tigers have striped skin,
not just striped

did you know?

Donald Duck's middle name is Fauntleroy.

Bird Humor

The Talking Bird
at the Grocery Store

This rich little old lady went to the grocery store one day to buy her groceries. As she entered the doors there was a talking bird to her right.

The bird said, "You are the ugliest woman I have ever seen!"

The woman was very offended and went to tell the store manager what had happened.

"If you don't stop that bird from talking to me like that I will never come back to this store again, and you do know that I am one of your biggest customers," she ranted.

The manager promised her this would never happen again.

A few days later the little old lady went back to the store and the very same thing happened.

The bird said, "You are the ugliest woman I have ever seen!"

The little old lady went and told the manager that the very same thing had happened.

"I will tell everyone I see not to shop at this store," she threatened.

The manager promised her again that it would stop this time.

He went up to the bird and said, "If you ever tell that lady that she is the ugliest woman you ever saw, I will pluck out your feathers and throw you in the street. Now do you understand?"

The talking bird replied, "Yes!"

A few days later the little lady entered the store, stopped, looked up at the bird to see if he would make that remark again. The bird just looked down at her.

As she started to walk away, the
bird said, "I can't say it, but
you know you are!"

Canned Critter: Elephants

(examples, many more to see of all kinds of pets and animals)

plush animals 'n canned critters (nice ones in habitat cans!) 
(examples, many more to see in all kinds of animals - exotic and house pets)      

here are only a few of our site pages:

{Mental Jokes}   
{play our centipede -free arcade game classic!} 
 {mega maze free!}
{To Crazy Dude's}  
{gags & pranks free downloads}
{To Manic's Dance}      {our free funny downloads!}
{Crazy Dude's Funny Gifts!} 
{crazy wallpaper}
{love test- test your love power!}
{crazy icons}
{Free Greeting Cards & Virtual Gifts}  

be sure to visit our other pages and find the 'lost lists' of fun, funny, interactive, game filled pages!

Did You Know...

Age at which a female cat can first produce a litter:

4 to 10 months

Gestation period (length of pregnancy) for cats:

58 to 70 days

Number of litters a female cat can produce:

up to 3 per year

Dog Humor!
DOG COMMANDMENTS

Thou shalt not act half starved whenever thou watches me eat.

Thou shalt not lift thy leg to water the Christmas tree.

Thou shalt not roll in any smelly stuff thy finds in the yard.

Thou shalt not lie down next to me and commence making licking and popping noises. (I know what thou art doing!)

Thou shalt not dig up my favorite rose bush.

Thou shalt not treat my shoes as if they were thy chew toy.

Thou shalt not drink out of the toilet.

Thou shalt keep thy nose out of the cat's litter box.

Thou shalt not WATCH the cat while she is in her litterbox.

Thou shalt not pass gas in my presence, and then walk away as if thou has been offended by me.

Thou shalt not run away from home in pursuit of a good time. (thou has been neutered)

Thou shalt refrain from coughing and gagging while we have company.

Thou shall not hide thy bones under my pillow.

Thou shalt not sniff the crotch of everyone thy encounters.

Thou shalt not harmonize with the cat at 2 a.m.

Thou shalt not sneak up on me and lick me in the mouth while I am sleeping.

Thou shalt refrain from becoming overly affectionate with my mother-in-law's leg.

animal ornaments

animal jewelry 'n jewelry boxes

calendars (fin all animals and pets in this calendar store - cat calendars, dogs, frogs, out of the normal and the standard cute kitten calendars!) 

 thank you for your visit! Please come back soon!